Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
you're thinking of things to pack this weekend and you think Don King wig?
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
I FOUND THE LEGS
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Is it weird that I have your number saved in my phone as baby Jesus?
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
