Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
It's called 'beer pong' not 'everclear and coke pong' for a reason...
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
No one will ever find true happiness until they have gotten stoned and taken off the bra they've been wearing all day.
You, my dear friend, are a poet of the deep mental longings of women worldwide.
I accidentally stubbed my dick
What does that even mean?
Want a bet? I'm a kinky and determined motherfucker with a libido that is not easily stopped
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize