Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
Just thought you should know, Im with josh now. Im no longer available for rent. I have a full time tenant now. Like, a year long lease at least.
I feel like shit, and I can't get the band aids off my nipples.
it was just another one of those moments where you unfriendzone a friend you assumed to be gay
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
WAIT YOU’VE NEVER BEEN TO COSTCO???
COSTCO IS MAGICAL
I can’t believe you two made a group text to scream at me about Costco.
Randomize
