i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
he only lasted three minutes, so to spite him i stayed the night and slept in.
why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
I just saw a guy in a sombrero and holding an inflated blow-up doll in all her "glory" get escorted out of the mall. I hate Marley.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I have sent texts to the pizza delivery guy telling him he was beautiful. Oh and you almost got a ticket for pissing in public. And I smell like cheese.
I just want to nap all the time and eat Chinese food.
he's figured out my code; what are you doing = I haven't found a better dick yet
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
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