Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
I've never felt so inclined to grow a dick. THIS is what the gays in this town have done to me
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
we both turned hook ups into relationships we are crushing this thing called life right now.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Well my unnaturally hairy chest finally came in handy. It took at least an hour to shave the american flag into my chest but I definitely went America all over that party
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
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