I kissed a girl and did not like it. Now I hate Katy Perry even more.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think he just gave me the 'I used to sleep with your sister' discount
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
I feel like despite his sleaziness I could be friends with this man. he just sent me a picture of his dog's balls.
Walking in on a gay threesome, with a girl in the corner watching and taking vid is a reason to not only knock, but to never go to Savannah.
So how did it go?
I'm not sure if it was all the eggnog or all the alcohol, but hosting an eggnog pong tournament was a mistake.
im glad im back to a point in my life where i have enough sex to sometimes be offered and be like naw im good.
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
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