The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
over or under 1pm before my bracket is too blurry to read?
I tackled a mailbox like a linebacker. He almost broke his hip and his friend lit a bottle rocket off inside of the car. Yes it was a successful night.
5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
I got written up at work for smelling like sex and vodka. Still not sure how they put that into professional terms.
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
You're putting the star player on the bench. You dont put Michael Jordan on the bench.
Are you referring to my vagina as Michael Jordan?
All my money is going towards making my vagina hairless
Worth it.
I'm going to be an 8 year old girl down there foreverrrr #fountainofyouth
Model at car show < day drinking with your favorite sister. Get your head in the fucking game Christopher.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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