She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I only kidnapped one of them. chill
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
We found her on a strangers doorstep chanting "I know someone will let me in" it took 2 of us to drag her to the car.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
By the way seagulls wings are very soft. And the lesbian and or by sexual twins say hello. Be home in the little bit time frame.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Every minute you wait for the sex that's not gonna happen, we're missing a tone deaf, drunk, tard-asaurus rex half-sing a 90's song to a bunch of other dinotards at karaoke.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
I shit myself when I came, don't have flu sex
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
Randomize
