I drank too much. My snot smells like vodka when I blow my nose.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
Want a slice of this weekend's hottest piece of ass?
Yeah..I guess you know your hair looks like shit when TSA asks to inspect it
Oh ya, I forgot to tell you, last night I woke up to the sound of you peeing on the floor next to the fridge, didn't remember until now. Have fun at Dayton!
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
What is it in my brain that makes me look at a penis and think "that belongs in my mouth"?
Apparently i'm now known as the kid who was double fisting tequila and pedialyte.
I am mildly hung over. Decided pants are very unnecessary right now.
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