I can tuck mytits in my pants
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
the good news is that even if it's Alex's, I can still say it's Colin's, because the kid will come out ginger anyway!
who knew there'd be a plus side to your ginger fetish one day?
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
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