I dreamt Michael Jackson dropped his pants in front of me and I had to ignore it.
I just love slightly exposed cleavage. Not too much to be whory but just enough to say "your kids will never go hungry"
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
It's not my fault. Someone keeps buying me tequila shots. Idk who. But every time I look down there's another. I think there's a conspiracy.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
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