His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
My passouts and memory loss are great training for when I have alzheimers. You'll know where to look when I get lost.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Some girl just showed me her stretch marks
You need to get out of tn
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
Randomize
