She wants her shit back. Clearly she missed the cheaters-get-their-shit-ritually-burned clause.
do you have any idea how expensive it is to have the munchies at Disneyland?
i find it unbelievable that you didn't think it was necessary to intervene when i started letting people autograph my body with spray tan.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
They have a genuine stripper pole secured to the floor of their living room. I am thoroughly take advantage of it. I've made $5 so far. Why don't more places have poles??!
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
Your dog took my vibrator out to the yard
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
I promised her I would shit on your driveway. There's nothing that you or I can do about it now.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
Randomize
