I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
I just speedwalked down the broken metro escalator while high. Basically all my worst fears combined
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
Potato salad is not cupcake ingredient
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
Dude, you left ME alone in your house. With your fully-stocked wine cellar. Why would you do that to yourself?
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
Is it counter productive to ride on my exercise bike with a cocktail in hand?
I'm just saying, I walked in on you blowing a burrito. I now understand how obsessed you are with Taco Bell. And how long it's been since you've got some.
I haven't had an orgasm since 2014. So you cam see why I'm having a bad year.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
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