Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Quick, to the slutcave!
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
She gave him a lap dance on the glass table. You can guess how that ended
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
i was on the fire escape while he ate me out for a while before i realized he had shut the door behind us and locked us out and i proceeded to climb down the stairs and climb back into the party through the window.
i can only hope to be on your level one day.
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I think I might start referring to your vagina as a separate being now
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
A girl showed up in my tinder and I have it set to only men... I super liked her because I need a lesbian experience
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
Randomize