Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
At a bar where three women in denim shorts are debating techniques and skillsets for wrangling goats. You stay classy Delaware.
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
She turned over and said "You smell like my dad, i just can't do this"
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
The cop let me finish my J before he cuffed me. Coolest arresting officer ever.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
come over we're fb stalking guys who were dressed as bananas last night because i can't remember which one i blew
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Randomize
