It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
By the way, her vagina was so tight i was worried that i would be stuck forever
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
The one from last night got me a whole floor of Eskimo Brothers. There was a celebration of high fiving as I left
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
I was wearing my get used bookstore shirt when we fucked. Ironic yet appropriate.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I’ve developed a strange interest in ear wax removal vids on YouTube. Dear god, I need to get a job
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
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