On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
I just heard a woman call her child a butt face. Repeatedly. He's crying now. I love walmart.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
This might be the most awkward night of my life. And I had someone pee on me once.
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
I got rejected. By another girl. At a red light. In front of seven shirtless cyclists in the middle of the night. How is that normal?!?
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Thanks for launching me off you reverse cowgirl. I think I chipped a tooth.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
