You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
what about "I will fuck you for a jamba juice" do you not understand?
I need a creepy friend to scare off the other creepy people
I would be honored to be that friend.
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
is it bad i banged a 25yr kindergarten teacher last night?
No thats like a top 10
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Ive consumed more rum studying for law school finals than I did that time I fucked that fat chick in the back of VW Beetle. It's all ugly, but for different reasons.
He shit in a sock dude, you can't come back from that
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
