Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
And next time, don't pick a fight with me when you're naked. That's just not fair
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
you texted me "dude im face"
it sounded so right at the time
I can't decide if I'm depressed or if this is just what life without a bidet feels like.
Last night I was introduced as the Picasso of getting fucked up so I obviously had to live up to it by chugging long islands
PS: bike ride of shame at 7am includes riding by kids waiting for the school bus #classy
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
