whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
In hindsight, i should have predicted that a drink called the 'rocky mountain bear fucker' would not end in a pleasant experience
shes on the floor puking and texting simultaneously.
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Last night was the first night with all of the roommates, and what started as a calm night of light drinking got out of hand. There's a girl on my couch wearing only a fanny pack.
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Happy 420. I woke up to a girl smoking weed and dragging me out of bed. Chemistry makes so much sense high.
The perfect man would keep a whisky sour in my hand and give me endless sex. I really don't think that's too much to ask for.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
I miss all the tiny banana hammocks... When can I go back to ogling? I can do it from a lot farther than six feet without any complaints.
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