i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
literally have a bruise on my forehead from being over the toilet all night.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
I left two shots of jager for you guys when you wake up from your death. Do with it as you wish
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
I think we ended 5-7 relationships as well this weekend...so another good stat
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
Randomize
