I just saw a girl walking home wearing a tshirt, boxers, and cowboy boots. Thanks for having the decency to drive me to my car.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
My month off booze swimsuit season diet plan is working well. Plus I'm learning so much about my house, did you know a girl named Meagan lives here?
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
I came home braless and wearing a tail....
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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