i feel so shallow. people in iran are using twitter to write hardcore nathan hale shit about dying for freedom. my last tweet was "i hate the taco shits"
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Just walked into the bathroom and looked straight ahead and made eye contact with a guy taking a shit through the crack in the stall door...
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
Is 28 too old to get fingered in Centennial Park? Asking for a friend.
Someone just needs to roll me into a blanket burrito and feed me drugs
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
