could you grab mr moo while you're at his apt?
you brought your stuffed animal to a booty call?
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
We ate a mysterious delivered pizza which no one ordered and then the wii wouldn't work so 20 of us watched porn on two laptops. Drunk took the awkward away.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
That's how I like my men: traumatized and crying in a ball
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Shut up. You had me at killer robots. Your place or mine?
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Can you please come in my room and pour water in my mouth? Too hungover to move. btw who is this guy in my bed? Can't see his face. Cute?
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
