And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
i think we should start charging the bum that sleeps on our porch rent..
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
