You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
Make note: the first date is too soon to make the "condoms are only for making balloon animals" joke.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
worst hand job ever. my dick is about as raw as that sushi your mom wanted me to try.
Tonight must have been good, I have already had two cups of coffee but still couldn't figure out how to operate a door.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
For a pair of gay men you destroy a lot of vagina.
He was respectful of both me and my One Direction calendar.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Every FB picture she has looks like it's from the POV of the guy she's blowing
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