i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
I created a new solo drinking game. You need a handle, a laptop, and a shitty internet connection. Start watching the fort video in the que, play the snake while the videos constantly load, and take a drink everytime you fuck up. There was a video of a an asain female Justin beiber impersonator full screen when I woke up.
Since i didn't have a condom I told him to use jump ship method, I think I was overly invested in my sailor costume this year.
My roommates just built a mini golf course upstairs while I was sleeping.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Amanda, I can 99.9% assure you i'm probably never going to bang your mom
I DON'T LIKE THAT SENTENCE
So I'm just casually at the grocery store when I remember that there's still a clove of garlic in my vagina
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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