like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
Girl farted next to me in class and then denied my high five
Dude, she told me she wanted to bang my dad. I don't know which is worse, the fact that she wants to or the fact that she told me.
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
Watching her eat just hurts me
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
I buy a new bowl every time I get a new guy. It's retail therapy.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
can you come here so we can have really loud sex? the girl upstairs walks so loud i want her to know how it feels
of course
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
