So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
I just saw two girls throwing up in the bathroom. they were high-fiving under the stall...
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
some guy i've known for a week sent me nudes saying "you're welcome" i need an award for this birthday
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
The cute guy in my class hurt himself and is on crutches. My first thought was "Good. He'll be easier to take down." Like he's a gazelle and I'm a dick tiger. What's wrong with me?
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
Randomize
