you turned your livingroom into a bong?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
Everyone is in jail. I'll see what i can do though
Hookers taste better with whip cream
Maybe we ought to get some pennicillin too
Fair enough
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
Disasters an understatement. Hurricane alpha chi omega hit. On my way to buy carpet cleaner, super glue, and a new liver. Be back soon.
she asked how her costume looked and all i could say was bars are dark right?
you kept saying "i will not *breathe* regret this *breathe* in the morning *breathe* i just gotta remember *breathe* to BREATHE"
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
Can you hurry up? Jamie just challenged my ex boyfriend to a duel and someone honest to God handed her a sword?
She didn't have her own?
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
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