and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
Nobody knew what to do when it was dead. You said fire up the George Foreman, I've never ate baby shark. She hasn't stopped crying.
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
And by "schedule" I meant crumbled up liquor store receipt, that I wrote shit on.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Is it bad I have to get shitty ass drunk on a Monday night because I can't adult?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
