Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
Do you know how easy it would be to shoplift if I was a magician?!
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I really wanna know when trying to grow up turned into try not to throw up.
i figured out i could get from the downstairs bar to the upstairs bar AND grab pizza by going through the kitchen. it was the greatest discovery of my life besides the flabongo.
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
But seriously, I love having sex with you and simultaneously know I never wanna date you.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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