Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
I just used 'come play with my balls' as a legitimate booty call attempt. And it worked.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
In preparation of Wine in the Woods next weekend, today we're hosting Straight Vodka in the Bathtub
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Pretty sure the cab driver can even smell the sex coming from between my legs
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
