Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
he would probably call me "ma'am" when he's inside me. people love saying weird shit inside me.
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I put the extra pregnancy test in my sex toys box as a reminder that my actions have consequences.
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
I can never go back to Jacksonville. We think I may have punched a child in the face while on acid...
so dehydrated I couldn't fill the pee cup to the right line for my drug test for school. I was like sorry it was my birthday yesterday
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Hung out near hay bales in sweaters then she gave me a pumpkin spice pop rocks bj. That was so freakin' seasonal.
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
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