Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
Yes someone did see you carrying a beer bong on the side of coastal highway
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Who put the meatball sub on my door handle?
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
Your Vodka Saturday privileges have been reduced to Beer until you go a full month without losing an article of clothing.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
Randomize
