he was fingering me to the beat of a lady gaga song. new high? new low? i don know, but i came, so whatever.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
Talking to this girl is like playing minesweeper on hard. There's red flags everywhere.
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
Pregnancy confirmed. Complete emotional instability achieved. I just cried through 95% of Avatar.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
The girl I hooked up with in exchange for Ramen freshmen year is living with the girl I currently wish to bang.
Try oodles of noodles this time.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
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