Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
I've never seen a homeless man jog to get off the bus and then run to his panhandling spot because he's "late for work," but you see something new every day.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
... drunk me broke the coffee table?
STOP TALKING ABOUT YOURSELF IN THE THIRD PERSON. YOU DID THE THING.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Just fell down the stairs..might wanna call the ambulance jus take the weed out of my pocket be4 they come..
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Randomize
