The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
Lets evaluate? U kissed one boss and lef twith another man. I cock teased the other, hardcore had a tongue jammed down my throat, made out w aa third then left in a cab w alex w them all yelling at me and offering rides. My cheek was also licked and bitten by 2 other men and we almost made out (u and me) because they asked. were hired.
I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
Kill yourself wednesday started off with a bang, and im pretty sure im still drunk from tequila tuesday.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
The bartender cut me off so I peed in the corner. How no one noticed I have no idea.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
Randomize
