They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
I have nothing to lose. And a bunch of dick to gain.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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