I will show your tits more attention than Michael Jackson's death.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
What kind of person begs for a BJ from someone who just got their wisdom teeth out?
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just made a jeopardy bj game. Every question has 10-50 seconds on it and if he's right that's how many he gets.
Bring a bathing suit and your good liver.
My good liver is still at the dry cleaners. Will my backup liver suffice?
Maybe
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
It's settled. One of us is going to bang her brother. The world demands justice and he's hot. We'll be the justice league if it were made of alcoholic whores
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Randomize
