I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
Last night started off great but became the saddest day of my life when i was drunk in a hotel room eating day old mac and cheese out of a yatzee cup with a coffee lid as a spoon...
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
The highlight of my night was definitely explaining the bandaid on my nipple.
He turned down jacuzzi sex. He cares more about my vagina than i do.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Dick very happy bro
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
Youre saying I should leave him? Have you seen the dating pool these days? It's terrifying, and in the capital region it's straight Norman Bates
Randomize
