super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
Yes, she did suck your dick in the bathroom to wake you up.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
You came on the chandelier from the first floor.. Of course were allowed back
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I just saw an ad for "fair trade quinoa vodka". Fuck this world and everyone in it.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
I don't know what else to tell you.. just listen to some taylor swift and you'll know what to do in the morning
Randomize
