God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
if i remember New Year's Eve then there is something seriously wrong.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
Your dick is going to fall off. Be careful or you'll get callouses. A workingman's dick.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I could drive to your house and kick you in the nuts right now....and not even stop for a burrito
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
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