I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
i used the phrase horny rhinos in my paper. i hope my teacher appreciates the size of my balls
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Taking back a box of condoms is possibly the most depressing thing i've ever done
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
I'm glad our friendship can withstand laughing mid-blowjob during the diarrhea scene in Dumb & Dumber.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
He serenaded me say anything-style with Weird Al songs and then blew me on the beach. I'd say he's a keeper.
His condition for us having sex was that I wore my show boots. #equestrianproblems
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
Randomize
