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On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
What's an appropriate outfit for wearing to hangout with a girl you've talked to once, and had a 4way with?
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Successfully defrauded the county government. What have you done today?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
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