I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I just googled if crying burns calories
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
I don't even want to go. i just want to be a hermit and live in a cave with an elephant that pisses vodka
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I'm drunk in a place called Lick-A-Chick. PS. It's not a lesbian hot spot, they sell chicken.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
Randomize
