i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
We played Russian Roulette with a revolving Nerf gun. If you shot yourself in the face, you had to drink.
Tell me the dirtiest joke you know
Sarah Palin
god, I love you
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
whatcha doing?
lying in bed pretending to be a slug
I'm thankful I didn't get drunk and shit my pants this year. 🦃
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
Randomize