Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
she was passed out on the moving sidewalks in the airport, we NEED to travel more often
Check Facebook. Random dude tagged us in photos from last night dancing at Denny's while eating a sampler platter. 1. How does he have our names, and 2. You said we ate at Tbell.
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
I distinctly remember calling the anesthesiologist a "sneaky little bastard" directly to his face
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
he drank all my beer while i was at work and passed out on my couch, when i got home he was out cold and my room mates pig was licking him. they seemed peaceful, so i took 20 bucks from his wallet and left again.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
is it still considered wake n bake if you wake up at 2 pm?
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
Randomize
