some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
That basically sounds like the worst party of my life, and I'm including my brother's World of Warcraft themed birthday party.
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
Randomize
