i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
I like how you try to look sexy and just end up looking like a weird boy.
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
My kid made a secret wish that you have a baby... Make good choices today!
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize