Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
I just woke up under a kitchen table with my sandals taped to my feet and a corona bottle taped to my hand..
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
you reached into a lemon drop to pull out a lemon of someone else's drink..
I might have hooked up with a 2003 alumni last night in the basement
Dude you were ten when he graduated
Wahoowaaaaaaa
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
"Let's do body shots off the freshmen" is officially the worst thing I've ever said.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
TJ is going to paint me in a Patriots Jersey he can paint you in an eagle jersey. Did this last year and got so much dick.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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