be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Its way too early to be sitting naked at his dining room table...
hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
When are you comin back?
probably mid next week, depending on when i finish my remaining half gallons
I got a Luke Skywalker costume so I can go do battle with the homeless guy who plays the fiddle dressed as Darth Vader downtown.
its time for step 4 of getting over him: post his number on the transvestite page on craigs list asking for pics
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
Now I don't feel like I'm sweating cheeseburger all the time.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
