I am going to give you the keys to my place
Then I'll give you the keys to my heart
Gag me
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
I picked my nose. Flicked it. I heard it hit something. Next thing I know, it's floating around in my wine glass.
she's got a whisker from her dead cat taped to the wall. I'm pretty sure that about sums it up...
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
Found a pic of me suckling your nipple at the bar. Safe to say you don't want this one tagged?
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
I just took a shower and found half a cookie melted under my boob. Please tell me there's a reason
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The novelty of Nekkid Straight Roommate has faded.
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
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