Stop blaming waffle house for all your problems
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I can't remember dinner
Hahaha "rub in the ketchup on your face, It'll just look like blush." some gay waiter said that to you, and you go "good idea!"
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
Randomize
