I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
What happened to him?
He was walking right behind us then disappeared.. turns out he checked his luggage at a night club, continued to drink and dance, then slept on the 4th floor of some museum
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
Hangover Status: I've been bedridden longer than that kid from The Secret Garden. It's not looking good.
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
How much more is Amanda Bynes going to rip out our hearts?!?!?
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Did you really have to freak out and get up half way through to put the cat in the closet?
...
Having to do the walk of shame on crutches was defiently a first for me. cheers to the governor, klove
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
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