im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
My pussy is not your playground.
Just mixed Baileys and yoohoo. I feel like an alchoholic 2nd grader.
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
I was actually high enough at that point that I was just casually following your glowing footsteps like in Avatar while we ran from the cops.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
Apparently I've told this bouncer I stalk him on Instagram 3 times. I should stop drinking. I only remeber saying it tonight. early sign of Alzheimer's
What the hell did you do last night?
I embarrassed myself, my family, name, and possibly my country.
Standing naked in my kitchen making nachos. I love my youth.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
I've seen your dick too many times for both of us to be straight.
Randomize
