I thought if I stared at him long enough he'd walk me to my car. but he didn't. he dddidn't. i rreally thought i had those powers.
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i just packed a bowl on a big bird place mat and smoked it in a spaceship with a slide. i love babysitting.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I can't turn my head to the left, I'm pissing out of my ass, and my finger went through the toilet paper today... I need you.
He never broke character while fucking me on the neighbor's lawn. I give him a 10 for his dedication to the British accent.
note to self: shower sex when you have 7 stitches in your leg is never a good idea. never.
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
I have no concept of chastity or moderation, she is a Catholic guilt poster child, how could I not try to hit that
I'm hungry and horny. DEADLY COMBINATION.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Randomize
