I just woke up and realized I puked in my boxers WTF.
You stay classy.
The worst part was I forgot until I tried to put them on.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
and you think what you did last night was bad? at least you didnt go wake up a sleeping guy for birthday sex.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
Lol if he questions who I am I'm gonna send him a pic of his boxers
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
Im sober enough to understand what people are saying but drunk enough to understand its hilarious
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
