Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Would it be weird if I brought slabs of bacon with me to the beach?
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
There was an audience eating triscuts and bananas in the bathroom while watching him puke. It was a good birthday.
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
I'm eating ramen over the toilet. Fuck my life
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I once took a shot of lighter fluid.. That's not a secret just a fucked up story
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
Hey I know we haven't talked in a while, but I wanted to thank you for those m&ms you bought me for Christmas. Sorry I never got you anything then broke up with you.
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