wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
you turned on the Care Bears movie at 5am and kept screaming "I CARE"
No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
No no don't get confused. We do chemistry homework on Thursdays. We screw on Fridays. Other than that, Words With Friends is our only communication five days a week. We are NOT dating.
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
Nothing says hey I wanna be your friend again like ambushing me with a dick pic
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
