This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
I just want him to slap me with his dick and call it love
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I hope our bodies realize that workaholics starts tomorrow and will be well enough to handle the hell we are going to put them through. amen.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
His mom wants to come see the dorm.
Hide the whip.
Randomize
