Just tried calling my phone on my phone because i thought i lost my phone.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
you called me and cried until i agreed to record a rap about our lives with you
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
no more heavy drinking durning the lady that cleans the office told me i have to emtpy my own thrash if i puke in it
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I've started a list of places i want to drink. To go along with the list of places i want to have sex. Lincoln's log cabin is on both.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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