Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
hey. so did i get tied up by a jumprope last night?
French people screaming and throwing stuff out the window. We told the manager and he's pissed and going up there. This is gonna be like cops. Maybe better than cops.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
She's just so happy...and so naked.
It's not a good hook up if during you're thinking "how will this damage me psychologically"
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
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