you scanned your fake to get into the dorm last night and when the lady told you it was the wrong card you looked at her and said this is who i am thursday night
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
It was honestly like he was directing a porno or something. he kept telling different people to grab other people's boobs, it was all very artistic.
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I love you more with every blowjob.
You should write for Hallmark.
Just saw you in traffic. You may have noticed me, I was the corpse driving the white car.
I just had the worst experience of my life, my grandma found my condoms.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Just spent the morning washing Bailey's and Guiness out of my clothes -_-
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
Randomize
