is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
I don't understand how anyone could look at him and think, 'Yeah, that's a good idea.'
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
For the first time in my life, I paid for my own alcoholic beverage last night. Am I getting ugly?
To be honest, kinda.
I'm still not sure if it was intentional, but the chiropractor definitely cradled his balls on my shoulder. He even seemed to adjust the sack for comfort. I think I should be flattered. He is a doctor, after all..
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
just called AAA to get my keys out of me car and then afterwards realized they were in my pocket...stoner life
My pizza delivery guy was so hot I was like omg please let this be the beginning of a porno
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