Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
Party at my house. Beach themed. Clothing optional.
Wouldn't that make it "Nude Beach Themed?"
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
We've gotten 3 pitchers already by trading for CUPCAKES
He jumped into a mall fountain. I don't think that warrants a lifetime ban or the disorderly persons charge, but whatever. Fuck you Pennsylvania.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
Oh dear. Sending much love.
Just send a machete.
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
I remember waking up on the bathroom floor and seeing my teeth behind the toilet
Randomize
